By Danny Start
I’m going to share something with you that most people don’t want to hear: Willpower is not the answer. If you’ve tried to change a habit before and “failed,” I want you to take a deep breath and let that guilt go. You didn’t fail because you have an “addictive personality” or because you’re weak. You failed because you were trying to use a tiny battery (your willpower) to run a giant machine (your brain).https://starthypnosis.co.uk/
About 95% of your day is automated. From the way you brush your teeth to the way you react when you’re stressed, your brain has built “neural highways” to save energy. It’s like driving a car; you don’t think about the pedals anymore because your subconscious has the program. Changing a habit is simply about installing a new program.https://www.hypnosisalliance.com/iact/
Here are the 7 secrets I use with my clients to make change quick, easy, and—most importantly—permanent.
1. The Belief Audit: Unlocking the Gate
Before we change a habit, we have to look at the “unhelpful stories” you tell yourself. If you believe “it’s hard to change,” then your brain will make it hard just to prove you right!
- The Secret: Be open-minded. Realize that thousands of people with extreme struggles have changed once they had the right tools. Your beliefs are just thoughts you’ve repeated—they aren’t facts.
2. The 154-Day Reality Check
Forget the “21-day” myth. New research (Singh, 2024) shows that complex habits—like exercise or a new diet—actually take an average of 55 to 66 days to start feeling automatic, and up to 154 days to be fully locked in.
- The Secret: Patience is your superpower. If it feels like effort in week three, that’s normal! You aren’t failing; you’re just “under construction.”https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Campbell
3. The 5-Second Rule (Interrupting the Trance)
Most bad habits are just “waking trances.” You find yourself reaching for the snack or the phone before you’ve even realized it.
- The Secret: As soon as you feel that “urge,” count 5-4-3-2-1. This physically shifts your brain from the emotional “habit” center to the logical “decision” center. It snaps you out of the trance so you can make a better choice.
4. Identity Shift: Who are you becoming?
Don’t focus on what you want to stop doing. Focus on who you are. A person trying to quit smoking is still a smoker in their head. A “non-smoker” simply doesn’t smoke.
- The Secret: In my sessions, we don’t just fix a behavior; we install a new Identity. Start saying “I am the type of person who…” and watch how your brain starts to “vote” for that person with its actions.
5. Friction: Make it Easy to Win
Your brain is designed to take the path of least resistance. If your gym clothes are hidden in a drawer, you probably won’t go. If the biscuits are on the counter, you’ll probably eat them.Home
- The Secret: Make the good habits visible and the bad habits invisible. Put your running shoes on the radiator. Put the phone in another room. Stop testing your willpower and start designing your environment.
6. Habit Stacking: The “Anchor” Technique
You already have hundreds of successful habits (like boiling the kettle or brushing your teeth).
- The Secret: “Anchor” your new habit to an old one. “After I boil the kettle, I will do 1 minute of deep breathing.” You are using the existing “neural highway” to help the new one grow faster.https://www.nhs.uk/tests-and-treatments/hypnotherapy/
7. The “If-Then” Backup Plan
Life happens. You’ll get stuck in traffic, it’ll rain, or you’ll be tired.
- The Secret: Create a “Plan B” before you need it. “If it rains and I can’t run outside, then I will do 15 minutes of stretching in the lounge.” Having this script ready in your mind removes the “decision fatigue” that causes most people to quit.https://www.newtoninstitute.org/
A Final Thought from Me…
Change doesn’t have to be a struggle. When your conscious mind and your unconscious mind start working as a team, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you can “win the game.”
You have all the resources you need inside you right now. I’m just here to show you where the buttons are.Training’s
